In tegenstelling tot de meeste mensen ben ik en een handvol mensen wel goed voorbereid op de onvermijdelijke zombie apocalypse. Want ik heb genoeg voedsel en een honkbal knuppel en genoeg hout en spijkers om de deuren ramen te barricaderen. Daarnaast heb ik zoveel zombie films gezien en games gespeeld dat ik mezelf als een pro survivor beschouw. Maar de mensen van Cracked.com zijn ook niet van gisteren en hebben dit artikel gepost met zes dingen die je NIET moet toen when shit get's real.

6 Don't go to the gun store

Society is collapsing, so you'd better get a gun quickly, right? Let's assume for a second you know how to use one well enough to aim at a reeking flood of corpses and shoot the parts that are faces. Now you're stuck with a couple of problems: Your noisy gun is calling more things than you kill, and given the nature of this zombie-horde problem, you will always have more enemies than bullets. But maybe you should stop fussing over all these tiny details. You're planning a zombie apocalypse, not the perfect wedding. Let's go get a gun.

Let's not assume you get to the gun store before everyone else -- that's impossible. The main reason a person opens a gun store is because they've been waiting their whole life for exactly this event. They've had a shotgun pointed at the entryway since the first report of flesh-eating maniacs. You're not going to catch them sleeping. According to recent illegal-immigration statistics, the vigilance of American gun owners is second only to the craftiness of any Mexican of any age ever.

If you can convince the gun store owner to let you in, congratulations: You're now white and in a well-fortified building with a massive stock of weapons and ammunition. That reminds me, I should call my parents. Back to what I was saying, you now have two choices: let more people in (see entry #6), or watch strangers pound on the locked door and curse you as zombies tear their legs off. And since no one has the luxury of personal moral codes anymore, it occurs to you that you're going to have to start shooting these noisy, panicked visitors before they figure out how to break in. Speaking of shooting, can you name all the ways a Beretta is less reliable than a Glock? Because a gun store owner can and will, from now until the end of time. I hope you're happy, because while everyone else is out bashing the skulls of the undead, discussing the availability of .445 ammo is how you're spending the end of times.